001spring03

Entropy Report Spring 2003

Intense levels of entropy have reeked havoc on the global situation in recent weeks, according to the Entropic Network Tracking System (ENTS). Personal entropy levels have seen spikes that crossed deeply into the indigo zone; fortunately these have been brief incursions that deflated before molecular instability began to materialize.

The expected front of compression in February or March did not occur, but was instead replaced by this fluctuating phenomena. Global manifestations have "greased the wheels of the mess we're in already", and brought planetary conflict "maybe even to the point of no return", according to ENTS spokesperson Leif Branches.

Branches could only speculate as to the drastic turnaround in expected entropy patterns. "We believe that cosmic influences are not what they appear. Either our technology is faulty, or our theories as to what the technology is telling us is faulty. Either way, some reassessment is due, and coming."

In spite of the unexpected twist, Branches felt confident in saying that the worst seems to be over. "We see levels returned to the high blue zone for the most part, and believe that blue alert is prudent for the time being."

April is predicted to see the annual wavering nanosecond pattern into the purple zone on the 15th of the month, due to the Insatiable Rotating Singularity - Telemetry Axis A (IRS-TAx) effect, with pre and post phenomena surrounding this date. These incursions are usually too brief to be of concern, although some claim there are victims every year who's destruction is blamed on other factors.

This period usually marks the beginning of low blue alert with green zone incursions. "The best data we have so far shows a return to more normal entropy for the foreseeable future", states Branches. He indicated that the review process underway may yield modifications of the current forecast.

Branches reiterated the recommendations of ENTS that deep breathing, the practice of mental alertness, a good diet, and CDs from Naked Kitty Productions have all been shown to inhibit the extreme effects of entropy.